not-rocket:

don’t leak nudes

leak the avengers: age of ultron trailer

itscarororo:

don’t forget to water bulba

uppercased:

no other song is “this generation’s bohemian rhapsody”

bohemian rhapsody is every generation’s bohemian rhapsody

Theme Tips!

thefrogman:

Some of your blog themes are using ridiculously small font sizes. I often have to zoom to 200% to read things and usually that makes the elements on the page go bonkers. Your super important thoughts just aren’t worth that kind of trouble. 

Lets forget about old farts like me who have a slightly hard time seeing things—there are plenty of folks with vision related disabilities that could benefit from more reasonable font sizes.  

With that in mind, here are some theme tips from your pal, Froggie…

  • Pick a theme that allows you to have —at minimum— a 12pt font. 14pt would be my preferred size. That way, even if someone does need to zoom (Ctrl +/- on your keyboard) they won’t have to zoom quite as much—giving a better chance that the page will retain its design integrity. If you choose a font size of 6, I will hire a monkey to poop inside all your left socks. 
  • Make sure that your font color and background have decent contrast. Light text should be placed on a dark background, dark text on a light background. If you place white text on a super light gray background, I will send a very charming wombat to seduce your lover and snapchat you pictures of their erotic encounters. 
  • Text colors should probably be limited to black, white and gray. Sometimes dark colors with low color saturation are acceptable too. I know you really like neon purple, but some people might stab themselves in the eye. You are endangering their ocular health. You don’t want that kind of guilt hanging on your conscience.  
  • Make sure that your navigation is easy to find and big enough to see even at a glance. Sometimes I feel like I am hunting for Waldo just trying to find a damned “next page” button. It should be under your last post at the bottom of the page. It should have big letters, possibly with an enthusiastic arrow. If I have to scroll the top of your page and use a microscope to find your next button… a surly aardvark will steal your tax forms, erase your real name, and replace it with Dildo Baggins. 
  • Make sure your ask, about me, and other buttons of importance are in a logical place and are easily readable. Typically at the top of your sidebar is a great spot.
  • Always double check to make sure your links work as intended. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen silly mistakes like htt://blahblah.tumlr.corn
  • If nothing else, perhaps just link everything to meatspin. A quaint site in which meat is in perpetual gyration to a catchy tune. 
  • Make sure any clutter on your page is worth it. Every element you put on your page has to be loaded. There are many with slower connections who may have to wait an annoyingly long time for sites to load. It’s possible that your supercool globe with all the flags of people visiting isn’t as necessary as you think. 
  • You might also put a link to your mobile site on your page so people with slow connections can just load the essentials. 
  • Endless scrolling is nice in theory, but it is often very unreliable. Especially when used with 50 to 100 pages. For people with older, slower computers it will crash constantly. And if you are like me, and require a lot of pageviews for business purposes, it can really mess up your site statistics. 
  • Consider avoiding posts with a great deal of blockquotes. Perhaps even edit the post and remove any parts that are irrelevant so that there are as few blockquotes as possible. If you do not, you risk blockquotes shooting off the side of your page and there is absolutely no way to discern what is being said. If you reblog something with 50 or more blockquotes, highly trained ninja raccoons will just judge you silently while twiddling their cute little thumbs. 
  • Lastly, if you have a music player on your blog, please disable autoplay.

I have recently signed a contract with a fire breathing dragon. If you still have autoplay on your blog at midnight, September 1, he will hunt you down. He will summon angry thermite fires from the depths of his bowels. He will look you dead in the eyes—his nostrils flaring with puffs of white hot fire so intense, your skin begins to peel. He will move in closer so you can feel his exhales on your shoulders. They will bead up with sweat with every passing breath.

And when you tell him you think “autoplay is actually pretty neat!”…

His eyes will glow orange, burning your retinas. A great grumble will churn in his stomach as he pushes the flames toward his esophagus. He will open his mouth wide and you will see the blaze gurgling in the back of his throat…

He will then sit you down in a comfy chair and give you a stern talking to about how autoplay sucks total balls. It sucks, like, at least 80 balls. On a 10 ball scale. 

Not True- FrostIron

snickersnackbanderhatt:

 

This is what becomes of dreams when dreams come true. It’s never what you really want. Cold kisses that can only ever breathe inside of stolen time, secret places that don’t exist in reality, can never exist in reality. You tell yourself that it’s okay, that this is the closest you’ve ever come to love but it’s not. It’s the closest you’ve come to living, but even in a whiskey soaked haze you know that’s not true.

It’s need, it’s selfish, instinctive need driven by the futile hope that you can be useful to the one thing more broken than you.

But it’s the only thing you have left left to offer, and you can twist things, present things through mirrored distortions as well as he can. You can make him believe, offer him hope on outstretched fingertips. Even if he doesn’t trust it now, he might. You think maybe it’s already started.

This is more important than the team, more important than the world.

If he can be saved, so can you. By redeeming him you can claim redemption even though you’re still lying, still hiding. You can sleep at night even if nothing has really changed.

You tell yourself you’re saving something, but you know it’s not true. Every moment you’re falling faster, losing pieces of yourself to the cold.  

virushoney:

I have drawn this since i read Satyr fanbook „YωY„ (so really really late to upload;;;) for riwox ♥ ♥ 

You are running out of time… and options.

“How about looking a person in the eyes?” I ask. “I find it difficult to do that in bed unless I know that it isn’t just something throwaway. Or sometimes that’s my indication that it isn’t just nothing, the ability to be able to hold a gaze.”

“Even with Emmett I don’t usually look him right in the eyes,” Nina says. “I usually do it once, but I can never do it the whole time. I feel like it’s almost too intense. I’m sure there’ll be a day where I want that intensity and we’ll do it the whole time. But usually… Yeah there’s something about it. Because sex has that effect where you are not worrying about other things, you become super vulnerable. There’s something super intense about looking at someone while you’re both vulnerable, that’s really… frightening. It’s easier to do with someone you love because you are vulnerable with each other all the time. Being in love with someone is basically being vulnerable with someone all the time. But for me it’s too high risk to exchange that vulnerability with someone I am not committed to. But i feel like I can give a little bit of that away with Emmett, who I am in love with, and who I am committed to.”

“I feel a lot like I am vulnerable all the time,” I say. “Which is why I get hurt all the time.”

I’ve been meaning to blog Cara’s last EMBED with Nina Freeman for what I now realise is a whole month. This says something about life right now.

Anyway! Nina does interesting personal games, oft about sex. Her and Cara go deep into sex, love, taboo and fucking people who you meet in online games and fucking people who you meet in clubs. Read the rest here.

moonkistprincess:

"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago

eliaes:

👏👏

hello-tom:

at some point i think pepper stopped thinking of him as tony stark and refers to him privately as tony stop


I saw the pancake/ricecooker (debacle?) post and as well as your tags and now i'm confused/curious to know what about cooking pancake batter in a rice cooker boiled your boillion, or whatever cromulent analogy wld fit here??

i’m crying boiled my bouillon that’s perf i’m going to use it all the time as soon as i figure out how to pronounce bouillon without being laughed at

i’m mostly annoyed because pancakes, to me, need to have crisp edges. i have a very specific ratio of crisp edge to fluffy middle i like, and i feel increasingly like people disregard the importance of a crisp edge

that wasn’t a pancake THAT WAS A CAKE.

NOT EVEN A GOOD CAKE.

ugh

I’M SO UPSET

© Matthew Brookes

nataliehall:

Another commission down.

This time an osprey! 

“Biology’s cruel joke goes something like this: As a teenage body goes through puberty, its circadian rhythm essentially shifts three hours backward. Suddenly, going to bed at nine or ten o’clock at night isn’t just a drag, but close to a biological impossibility. Studies of teenagers around the globe have found that adolescent brains do not start releasing melatonin until around eleven o’clock at night and keep pumping out the hormone well past sunrise. Adults, meanwhile, have little-to-no melatonin in their bodies when they wake up. With all that melatonin surging through their bloodstream, teenagers who are forced to be awake before eight in the morning are often barely alert and want nothing more than to give in to their body’s demands and fall back asleep. Because of the shift in their circadian rhythm, asking a teenager to perform well in a classroom during the early morning is like asking him or her to fly across the country and instantly adjust to the new time zone — and then do the same thing every night, for four years.”

Sleep and the teenage brain (via explore-blog)

This is why you have every right to be tired.  

(via lookrainbows)

And, in defiance of every medical study on the subject that’s been run, they keep pushing the start time of high school earlier and earlier.

#child abuse #systematic child abuse

(via transquesting)

I used to sleep through my first period class every morning. I’m really lucky that the year I had the most trouble staying awake, I was taking creative writing with a teacher I’d made friends with: she knew it was no reflection on her and I did extra projects to make up for it.

Still, shit ain’t right.

(via huggablekaiju)